It's Been a While

Man, has it been forever since I've posted.  It has been the longest time and the longest year and a half.  

Sadly, tragedy visited our family a few days after my last blog.   My husband of almost 15 years died suddenly on February 15th, 2019.   

It's funny to hear people who are just fed up with the challenges that 2020 has brought.  

My challenges started at the beginning of 2019.  Not just my challenges, though.  My daughters' as well.  

My oldest had acute kidney failure in May of 2019.  She's recovered, thankfully.  

My youngest daughter has been dealing with mental illness all along, but unfortunately, her illness is spiraling out of control.  Her therapist and psychiatrist have recommended that she be removed from the home.  That feels like a failure.  I can't parent my child at a time when she needs me the most. 

Then in September 2019, my dad had a stroke.  He died in November of 2019.  

Needless to say, I've been an experiment in "How much can a person deal with?"  

Apparently, more.  2020 came along and brought isolation, increased bills, and the death of my mother in law in April.  

It's a daily struggle to show up for anything.    

So, how am I able to cope with everything?  I'm not.  It's hard and I need help.  My therapist left the practice and I've not had another appointment.  I hired/asked a friend to help me clean my house.  She got it done and I've been able to maintain every space except my youngest daughter's room and my bedroom.   I could live in my bedroom.

I still rely on Jehovah's Holy Spirit to keep me going.   That's all I've got.  Maybe I'll write more.  Who blogs once a year?  Lol

Take care til next time.  

Nettie Jay

The One Important Way That I Cope With Stress

I was writing a rant.  I'd had a bad day at school.  I was tired.  I was frustrated.  I, I, I.

I was on empty.  A combination of people and circumstances, somewhere during the week had taken all of me and I had nothing left.

I know, you're going to say...

"I allowed it."

"I should have said no."

Teaching isn't like that.  Flexibility is key.  I try to stay flexible and professional.  I want to give up, but then, after some reflection, I try to reference my bible.  I'm working on using reflection time in the moment.  For now, after the kids have left and I have time to be alone, that's when I reflect.

My favorite is Isaiah 40:28-31.

It reads, "28 Do you not know?  Have you not heard?  Jehovah, the Creator of the ends of the earth, is a God for all eternity. He never tires out or grows weary.  His understanding is unsearchable.  29 He gives power to the tired one and full might to those lacking strength.  30 Boys will tire out and grow weary, And young men will stumble and fall,  31 But those hoping in Jehovah will regain power.  They will soar on wings like eagles.  They will run and not grow weary; They will walk and not tire out."

https://www.jw.org/en/publications/bible/study-bible/books/isaiah/40/

The reference for the word strength in verse 29 is dynamic energy.  

Yes!!  I need dynamic energy.  Dynamic to get me moving.  Energy to keep me going.  

That's what Jehovah will do for me and he'll do it for you, too.  

Sometimes our work life, or our home life, or our commute in between can push our buttons and bring out the worst in us.  They take us back to negative thoughts, negative words, and negative actions.  

One of the things that works to bring back my dynamic energy is to take a moment and just read, to take a brisk walk, or if possible to go for a drive.  Yes, that means reading the bible and also other books that are a balm.  Any seed catalog will do that for me.  Reading with my daughters and especially studying the bible with them is calming to me.  It makes me feel like I'm doing what Jehovah wants me to do.  Knowing that I'm making him happy calms me.  

Walking calms me as does going for a drive - if i'm not sleepy.  Don't drive if you're sleepy.  

All of this says that I will be drained sometimes, but there's a way to be refilled.  It reminds me of the book, Have-You-Filled-Bucket-Today.  Teachers Pay Teachers Bucket Filler Coloring Book

I've included links here just in case you're interested in them.  Teachers have encouraged their students and other faculty members to be bucket fillers.  Instead of being a person who, by their behavior, drains others, be a person who pours positive, dynamic energy into others.

As a teacher, wife, and mom, I often pour into others.  People see your strength and turn to you to be uplifted.  They forget, and I do too, that I need to be refilled and uplifted.  

So if you get your solace from woodworking, gardening, or meditating on scriptures then get it.  Don't feel guilty about scheduling your time around whatever gives you peace.    

I pray that reading this left you uplifted, positive, and gaining dynamic energy to get any task done.

Just Grow Something,

Annette

Two Homeschool Resources That We Love

Family Life:  Homeschool Resources

Many homeschool parents are frustrated with the education system.  Many parents of students who attend brick and mortar schools are frustrated, too. 

The loveliest part of homeschooling is that if you don't like some aspect, you can change it.  Just do something different.  No one is hurt or delayed from changing things up.  Many times, the change is good for your kids and for you.

My local homeschool expert might not call herself an expert, but she is.  She recently posted some tips on Facebook that could help any homeschooling family.  She is my first homeschool resource.  Someone who has done it already and who has the answers to many of the questions that curious families have is a good resource.  She'll be the first to tell you to do your own research.  What was best for her family may not fit with mine.  Still, I love her and am encouraged to keep wanting what's best for my kids because of her example.

Join a homeschool group on Facebook or in your community.  Find someone who has been there and has some knowledge about the process.  Combine their know how with your own research to discover what fits your needs.

Online resources are next.  There are a few online educational sites that I highly recommend.  Lexia Core 5 is the one that I love the most.  When you don't know where to start, Lexia guides your child from letter identification to comprehension.  It also teaches grammar and spelling.  

By providing data, lessons, activities, and rewards, Lexia makes teaching easy for parents and fun for kids. 

If your child returns to brick and mortar school you'll have accurate data to provide that the school will appreciate.

I'll cover other resources in future blogs.

Just Grow Something,

Annette

Teacher Life: Extra Time

Have you ever needed more time and had to shift your life around to reach your goals? 

That's what I'm doing now. 

I've applied to a few positions, but haven't received any offers.  There's always retail, but it would cut into the time that I need.  I'm trying to make time.  Time for my family and time for my relationship with Jehovah.  Time to run the farm and to develop that business so that our farm feeds us, our family, and the community. 

That led me to VIP Kid.  After lots of research on the application process, the video lesson is what's most challenging to me.  I am just nervous and anxious that I don't understand the technology.  Nervous and anxious that I won't do it correctly. 

Why be nervous or anxious?  Because I'm human.  I took the time from the busyness of the day to remember the scripture that helps me to calm my anxieties.  Philippians 4:6-7 "Do not be anxious over anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication along with thanksgiving, let your petitions be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your mental powers by means of Christ Jesus."  NWT 

Then, after the counsel given at Matthew 6:25-32, the scripture that brings the point home in verse 33 is, "Keep on, then, seeking first the Kingdom and his righteousness, and all these other things will be added to you. 34 So never be anxious about the next day, for the next day will have its own anxieties.  Each day has enough of its own troubles."   NWT

And then it hit me!  I knew where I'd made a misstep.  I wasn't seeking the Kingdom first.  I was trying to find the time first.  There are only 24 hours in everyone's day.  I'm not going to find more time.  I needed to use the time that I had to develop my relationship with Jehovah.  Serve Him and study His word.  The time that I need for the family would be there.  The time that I need for the farm would be there.  Most importantly, the time that I needed for doing God's will would be there.  I didn't need to make time from a different job or anything else.   

The VIP Kid employment process was already begun and I'll complete the process.  I'm going to do a second demo video.  Hopefully, in this one, I'll talk less and be approved for the teaching position.   

Family Life: Motivation to do Chores

What motivates you to do chores?  Do you just hate a messy house?  Are family members coming from out of town?  Is it just a habit?

Really, I want to know.  I grew up doing chores around the house.  I have three brothers.  On Saturday, my chore was to clean the living room.  That meant dusting, vacuuming, and cleaning the windows.  I also had to clean the bathroom.  Did I mention that I have three brothers?  I still cleaned up the bathroom once weekly.  It became a habit.  Everyone did their part and our home looked decent.  Our own rooms were another story.  My parents didn't mind as much if our own rooms were a little unorganized/messy. 

Why can't I get this through to my own family?  I feel like we're not on the same page.  Video gaming and YouTube watching takes a priority over keeping a decent looking house.  I can say that it needs to be done.  That's all that happens, though.  I've said it. 


I've tried a cleaning schedule, cleaning it all myself, giving them money, not feeding them until it's done, feeding them first, and not caring anymore.

Could a maid service help?  I'm sure they could, but my hubby doesn't think that we need one.  Still, that will not solve our issue of not being motivated to clean up after ourselves.  As someone once said, I feel as if I have to clean up after a party that I haven't been invited to.  Our home is the perfect floor plan for entertaining, but I won't allow visitors until it's cleaned up.  I thought that would motivate us to clean.  Have a get together and they'll clean up.  Well, they didn't.  So the get together was moved to someone else's house.  Embarrassing! 

Cleaning it all myself seems like the next best solution.  Our teenager helps, but she's not motivated to make it a habit.  When I get home from school, my workday isn't done.  I've got to clean too.  It makes me feel resentful that they're sitting around watching television or playing video games while I'm cleaning.  Is cleaning supposed to create loving feelings?  I do it out of love because I want them to live in a clean environment.  I think that the resentment comes from not getting help.  I shouldn't have to clean up after a house full of people by myself.  We're not raising our kids that way, but that's how it's turning out.  I'm ashamed. 

I've been praying about it.  Praying to be a more effective mother in this area.  Praying to be able to get it all done, even if it means doing it alone.  Praying to do it with love and not resentment.  Praying to be okay with being way less than perfect.  Praying that the people who love us won't judge us on the condition of our house.  Then I saw this:



Any housekeeping services reading this, please comment.  I might hire you.

Farm Life: What I'm Reading

First, please let me apologize for not blogging more often.  I have excuses, but no one likes excuses so I'll keep them and not use them.

How about if I journal daily?  That, hopefully, will be interesting.

I've been reading David the Good's book on starting a nursery.  It has a super long title.

The Easy Way to Start a Home-Based Plant Nursery and Make Thousands in Your Spare Time

I'll link to his amazon.com page here.

https://www.amazon.com/Start-Home-Based-Plant-Nursery-Thousands-ebook/dp/B07L8HQGPS/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1547468812&sr=8-1&keywords=david+the+good+nursery

My parents and I drove down to South Florida this past weekend.  Some of my time riding in the car was spent reading this book.  I did buy the kindle edition.  It's an awesome read...  very engaging and he makes you feel like your dreams of generating some extra income from your homestead are possible.

We drove back to Jacksonville, FL the next day.  Here I am at school now.  I'm exhausted, but my lesson plans are done and I'm ready to teach.  I just need some coffee or tea.  Like now!

The kids are here... Gotta go.  Just teach, just grow something, just serve Jehovah.

Three Unconventional Tools That Make Life Easier

I said unconventional.  So, you know I don't mean a butter knife instead of a screwdriver.  These tools are unconventional because they're not power tools.  They can't be found in the tool section of the big box hardware stores.  Although, nowadays, they can likely be found in the big box hardware store, but in another department.  The three items that I use almost daily to make life a little easier are  my:

1.  Computer

I'm taking some time to homeschool my children this year and to commit to insurance sales.  I've got so many things going on.  In order to keep track of everything, my computer has been instrumental.  I typically have at least six windows open.  Additionally, word documents, powerpoint, or a calculator are also on my start bar.  Most recently, I made a list of every item that we shop for at our club store. By making it into an excel document, I was able to create spaces for price and quantity.  It's on the fridge now so that I can highlight items that we need, like cornstarch.  We're running low on cornstarch.  Everyone has their thing that they need to do on a computer.  Some people like to scroll Facebook or Pinterest.  I do too.  I have a serious addiction to Pinterest.  I try my best to complete the necessary tasks before I get to scrolling.  There are always things to do around the house.  There are ways to interact with my kids.  So scrolling social media, for me, is a guilty pleasure.  This is a tool that requires wisdom and discernment.  Time can be spent using it to argue with strangers about who should be president or current sad events.  Or, time can be used to engage in learning a new thing or working.

2.  Stand Mixer

This was the best gift.  I'm not counting people in that, by the way.  Gift, meaning, it was a surprise that I didn't ask for (Ok, some people can fall into that category).  It's the best "non human/animal" gift.  I didn't know that I needed it until I had it.  I didn't know that I could use it confidently until a YouTube view of The Kneady Homesteader demonstrated how to make a loaf of bread.  Since I've watched it, I've made bread, cakes, and body butter.  I was asked once if I kneaded my bread by hand.  I admitted that I hadn't.  I used my stand mixer.  It does a great job.  I was 100% unsuccessful at baking bread before.  I feel very proud that I was able to make my family fresh bread successfully.  If I didn't knead it myself, they didn't care.  I've also been able to make my natural body butter, pictured above.

3.  Crock Pot

This tool seems like such a fixture that it's not a tool.  It's the busy person's best tool for getting things done without being tied to the kitchen.  I can't even count the amount of times that I've put some meat, veggies, and potatoes into a crock pot and went to work.  I've made applesauce for my kindergarten students.  That was a great science lesson on how heat changes things.  I've made ugly vegetable soup for my second grade students.  Now that's bringing a book, The Ugly Vegetables, to life!  In a crock pot devoted to crafting, I've made hot process soap.  Natural soap that conditions my family's skin and is safe for everyone (including my babies).   I have a crock pot or two that I can spare if you need one.  Lol!  I love crock pots!  They're even easy to clean up.  I'm not going to bother posting a picture of a crock pot.  Go to the thrift store and find a used one.  They work just as well as a new one.  I will, though, share this awesome book.  The Ugly Vegetables, by Grace Lin.  Ironically, we're having soup for dinner.

Enjoy using your tools.  Use them wisely and as often as possible.  Yes, they do require electricity. Tools that don't require electricity is a subject for another post.

To place an order for Natural Soap or Natural Body Butter, send a message through Facebook https://www.facebook.com/fourhornsfarm/ or send us an email to fourhornsfarm@gmail.com.